Would you Rather?

by Thomas Kummer

Everyone knows the game “Would you Rather,” and once in awhile one question really pushes you to the brink, makes you wonder right and wrong, up and down, good and bad.  A real dispute is this: “Would you rather only be able to watch Owen Wilson movies or Ben Stiller movies for the rest of your life?”  

In this scenario, from this point on any time you watch a movie, it will be replaced with one containing the actor of your choice.  You will never see another new movie again, just reruns upon reruns.  

Jay Loring remarks, “It’s a very thought provoking question; I wish I had thought of it.”  

The hardest part of the question is that these two actors have collaborated for many great films, which you will get to watch from either side of the aisle, like Meet the Parents and Zoolander.       

According to IMDb, Owen Wilson as appeared in 65 movies since he began his career in 1994 with the Bottle Rocket film and he continues with his most recent project Cars 3.  Wilson is known as a comedian, but has dabbled in some serious work, including Armageddon and Midnight in Paris, which shows his range as an actor.  Wilson has been nominated for an Academy Award for writing but nothing to show as an on screen actor, which shows in his poor filmography.  

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 Owen’s strong films, such as Wedding Crashers and Shanghai Noon, are very solid. But, he also has many weak outings that I wouldn’t want to endlessly watch over and over.  Imagine yourself in a this situation: your girlfriend is watching Top Gun, but you’re stuck watching The Big Bounce about a con man swindling a real estate developer out of $200,000.  

Top Gun is a fantastic movie, and I’d say better than anything Owen Wilson has ever been, and will be in,” says Meeghan Kummer.  

Another movie buff, senior Kyra Siano says, “Of all the Ben Stiller movies I like, Owen Wilson is in them too, so I’d have to go with Owen Wilson because he’s in Wedding Crashers.”  

Ben Stiller is an older, more experienced comedian.  IMDb has him appearing in 124 movies since 1986, and still going strong, even after he was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year.  His debut as Peter on the TV show Kate and Allie introduced him to the world, and

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in 1992 he was hosting the Ben Stiller Show, which won an Emmy.  Stiller’s most-known films without Owen Wilson include Dodgeball and There’s Something About Mary, and with Wilson are Night at the Museum and Zoolander.  Ben Stiller has many quality movies on his own, and even some cameo appearances that you could watch until your death.  In Happy Gilmore, he is the orderly at the old person’s home, and in Anchorman a Spanish news caster.  These small roles give you a wider variety of pictures to view, which Owen is seriously lacking.  

“Ben Stiller for sure,” answers Matt Reimels.  “Owen Wilson has Marley and Me and that’s about it.”  

Ben Stiller or Owen Wilson, not just who is better but who do you think will be more enjoyable to see in 40 years when you have memorized every line of every bad movie?  “Neither of them are what I’d want honestly.  If I could just pick Vince Vaughn instead it would be a much easier question.” said Cyrano Daniels.

While not ideal, the choices are set and you must choose.  Ben Stiller, I think, is the clear answer over the inferior and more annoying Owen Wilson.  I can only take so many wows from Wilson before I end my suffering of his movies.  Ben Stiller has the advantage in every category; more movies, more genres, and just plain funnier.  On Christmas Eve, while my family watches Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer, I will happily enjoy Walter Mitty over Hall Pass every time.

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