Seven Rules of the Zombie Apocalypse

by Meghan Hudson

Surviving the apocalypse could either be really difficult or really easy, it all depends on what you do.  Here are a few steps to ensure your survival for at least one day.

Rule #1: Find a weapon

        During the Apocalypse there are going to be a lot of things that will want to kill you.  Zombies, humans and animals are just a few things that will hinder your chances of survival.  Usually the first order of business would be to find water, however this isn’t the case during an apocalypse.  You can’t drink water with your throat ripped out.

        In games and on TV we see a lot of characters use guns for their weapons of choice.  While a gun will kill a zombie at a farther distance, the sound will attract more zombies and then you and your group are in hot water.  I believe the best weapons to use during the apocalypse are melee weapons such as bows, bats, axes and crowbars, which are silent but deadly.  These weapons are definitely better to use with a small amount of zombies, guns might be more useful when a hoard attacks.  The real best option when you are approached by a zombie is to run as fast as you can away from it.

Rule #2: Find food and water

        Resources are going to be very scarce so you need to get them at all costs.  Do not drink unpurified water; there could be a chance that it is infested with The Virus and other diseases.  Raid a grocery store if you can for bottles of water because that will be your safest bet.  Steal as much food as you can.  I don’t suggest cannibalism because people are dirty and could possibly be infected, instead hunt animals.  If the animal has been bitten don’t eat it.  Put the carcass somewhere away from your camp so it doesn’t attract any zombies.

Rule #3: Buddy System

One simply cannot go through the zombie apocalypse alone, it is best to have at least one other person with you at all times. The optimal number of people would be four that way you cover all sides when you stand back to back.  If you meet a group of other survivors consider going with them but don’t trust them.

Rule #4: Find Shelter

        Shelter is almost as important as food or water.  Where you choose to stay is very crucial to your survival. Very populated areas are not good because there will be too many zombies.  If you decide to stay in the middle of nowhere then you probably won’t have too many zombie problems, instead you’ll have resource issues.  Some believe it’s a good idea to stay in a place where a lot of weapons and food are available but that’s probably where everyone else will want to stay so the risk of people spreading the infection will be very high.

Rule #5: Trust No One

        When the world is suffering from a crisis people don’t exactly know how to react properly.  What you must always keep in mind during the apocalypse is that people are willing to do whatever they think is necessary to help them survive. People will try to kill you for food, resources, or bait.   Don’t ever let anyone catch you by surprise, always anticipate deception and betrayal.

Rule # 6: Shut Up

        Zombies are attracted by noise, so I find the best way to avoid getting caught is by shutting the hell up.  You need to treat zombies like wild animals.  If you were trying to avoid a pack of bears, do you really think the best idea would be to set off an air horn?  No.  So do you and your group a favor and just stop making noise.

Rule #7: Survival of the Fittest (also see: Natural Selection)

        The weak will die in the apocalypse.  You will need to make sacrifices.  It’s a harsh reality but Grandma is going to die sooner than you’d like.  If you want to live then your infant will have to die.  Babies and children make too much noise; if you don’t want to be eaten by a hoard drawn to the screams of your child then you’re going to have to say bye-bye to that kid.  I’m not saying all children are useless, wailing sirens. Children do have their uses but it depends on their age.  Older children are more likely to survive and you should keep them in your group.  These older children will be able to fit in small spaces, run exceedingly fast, and they won’t be as likely to freak out if they encounter a zombie.  If you do want to keep a child it will be difficult but when that child grows up they will be used to their situation and hopefully the zombie numbers will have dwindled down.

the-internet-of-zombies
(photos from http://www.ecurrent.com and http://www.staticworld.com)

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