Ask Harambe Volume 3

By Harambe

 

  • My teacher is frustrating me and I cannot learn with him/her. How do I fix this?

 

Well unfortunately not everyone is good at their job, similar to the parents who let their child fall into my enclosure or the Cincinnati Zoo employees that shot me. This is something you’re going to have to deal with in life. Hopefully you can overcome this issue by getting extra help.

2) I feel that Harambe memes on twitter are disrespectful towards you. How do I cope with this?

No worries or hard feelings. They are made out of respect to me so it’s whatever.

3) When I see other gorillas, I only think of you, is that okay?

Yes. Obviously, there will never be a gorilla quite like me. I will always be a legend in the gorilla world and superior to the rest of my species, so it’s normal to think about me when you see the rest of my kind.

4) My favorite NFL team is struggling. Who is to blame?

Everyone. With a bad record, nothing is going right. This starts with the management of the team not getting the right players, coaches not coaching well, and players just being awful. We’re six weeks into the season, and if the struggling continues then maybe you should accept defeat and hop on a bandwagon.

5) The college application process is really stressing me out. I am behind on a lot of things, how do I balance school and college?

It’s obviously a tough time for you, lad. You’re going to have to really buckle down in the next couple weeks to get this college material done by all your deadlines. However, school should not take a back seat either. You have to find a way to balance this.

 

Harambe, a 17-year-old gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo
Harambe, a 17-year-old gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo is pictured in this undated handout photo provided by Cincinnati Zoo. REUTERS/Cincinnati Zoo/Handout via Reuters

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